Track 11 - “Desire” by U2 (1988)

From the album Rattle and Hum

Music by Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen Jr.; lyrics by Bono

Performed by:

Bono – lead vocals, harmonica

The Edge – guitar, backing vocals

Adam Clayton – bass

Larry Mullen Jr. - drums

US Billboard Hot 100 - #3; US Modern Rock Tracks - #1; US Billboard Year-End Hot 100 - #56

Win - Best Rock Performance by Duo or Group, 1989 Grammys

She’s the dollars

She’s my protection

Yeah, she’s a promise

In the year of election

Oh sister, I can’t let you go

Like a preacher stealin’ hearts in a travelin’ show

For love or money, money, money

Money, money, money, money, money

Money, money, money

And the fever, gettin’ higher

If you Google “quotes about regret” you will literally get millions of results; websites full of words of wisdom, transposed onto images of sunsets and forests, all with inspirational quotes about regret, decision making and learning from mistakes. I thought about opening this week’s entry with one of these quotes, but even if I could have filtered all those search results down to just one, I scrapped the idea before I wasted any more of my time. More importantly, I promised you up front if you became a loyal reader, I would not waste your time, and I am not about to waste space on cheesy “Deep Thoughts” quotes. However, I will say this…after skimming some of them, they all pretty much say the same thing: don’t have regrets in life because every decision, good or bad, is a learning experience, which I 100% agree with. Unless you hurt someone with a bad decision or mistake, which you should regret and apologize for, then everything happens for a reason. But there was a time when there was a big decision I did regret for years, and which took me a long time to find the so-called silver lining in.

There was never a time when I knew less about what I wanted from life than my senior year of high school. I had generally been a very good student my entire life, so that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I had no idea what I was really good at or what I wanted to major in when I went to college, let alone kind of career I wanted. I wrote a few tracks ago about people who get their degree and stick with that profession their entire life and how much respect I have for those people. Those stops and starts I wrote about began during my senior year in high school, when I was making decisions about college and my future. I probably knew even back then that I was never going to be one of those people who has the same job or career forever. So, when I was looking at colleges, I did so without a real plan. If one of my sons approached their college application process the way I did back in 12th grade I probably would have been horrified. Not knowing what I wanted to do meant I was very unsure about what colleges I should focus on and apply to. So, although I was accepted to a couple of good schools and could have had the away-from-home college experience…wait for it…I chose to live at home and attend a small private college instead. I would be a full-time student and continue to work my part-time job at the mall, selling sneakers (a job I was great at, by the way), and as long as I studied and did well, my parents would fund my tuition. At the time, I was happy with my decision; I had a few friends that were also staying home so I would have somewhat of a social life.  I reasoned that I was just not ready to go away to college, and this was the best decision I could make. Wasn’t it better to not go away, rather than come home after a semester or two if it didn’t work out? So, there it is…the big regret I would look back on many years later and wonder if I made the right decision. More on that in a few minutes. One of the positives was that I always had money because I was always working. Most of the part-time crew at the store I worked at went away to school that fall, so it was basically me and my friend Vin leading the part-timers until some new high school kids could be hired. Vin worked more than me; he was taking classes part-time at a community college, so he had a ton of time and was working almost 40 hours per week. I was putting in 25-30 hours per week, still probably a lot for a full-time college student. I’d get to work around noon; some days I would work till closing, other days I’d be home in time for dinner. Then I’d study or do homework till late, go to sleep and start over again the next day, taking classes each day at 7AM. It was a grueling schedule, but it worked for me. Sometimes Vin and I would both get off the same time and we would go to open-gym volleyball, or we’d sit at the Red Robin in the mall talking about life, or about the various girls we saw working at some of the other retail establishments. As far as actual classes, I declared a Psychology major, and I found I liked it. It was a lot of reading, research and writing which I discovered I was pretty good at. Although I met some cool people and made a couple of friends, there was not much of a social scene since it was mostly a commuter school, but that was OK with me at the time. It all seemed to be working out fine. I wouldn’t realize for years of course that I didn’t really grow up or mature as a person during this time. I was still living at home, and not worrying about things like meals or laundry, so I was not learning anything about living on my own. If I’m being honest, it was just like high school; I went to school, then I went to work. The only difference was that I was able to work more because school wasn’t all day! But when I look back to that time, I ended up learning more about work ethic, fulfilling responsibilities, and business and success in general than I could ever have learned by going away to college. And I owe it to a guy from Pennsylvania named Martin.

Martin took over as manager a couple of months after I started, probably around the end of May. Best way to describe him is he was “nerd cool” before it was the thing it is now. He was tall, with a shock of red hair, and he wore these dark-rimmed glasses which I think he was blind without. He definitely had a presence about him as well. This was a huge retail chain I was working for; without getting into too much detail and promoting the brand, I wore a striped uniform to work, and we sold sneakers, so you can figure it out. The point is that this company regularly promoted managers to new locations, and in May of 1988, Martin was transferred to our store on Long Island from Pennsylvania. When he arrived, I think we were all bit nervous about what to expect. Since I was still sort of new, I really thought he might just get rid of me and keep the more experienced people. But with summer and busy back-to-school season approaching, Martin held on to the team we had, your host included. I didn’t know what to make of him at first. Up to that point, I didn’t really have much experience with managers or bosses. All I knew is that you listened to what they told you, followed directions, work hard and you’d probably be OK. From the time I first met him though, Martin seemed different; he had this ability to be a leader and yet still be down to earth. He had this way of telling a story in matter of fact way, and backed it up with this great big laugh. But when he wanted something done, you better do it. I remember seeing him get aggravated a couple of times, and just keeping my head down and getting out of the way. But he also made a real effort to get to know all of us, and one of the things I discovered about Martin was that he loved music. That summer before I started college, I worked whenever I could, trying to impress this new manager and looking to find some common ground. There was a midweek day in August I was scheduled to open the store with Martin, so I got there early and when I walked in, the store was uncomfortably hot. Turned out the air conditioning was broken. The store was already hot; how bad would it get when the store was packed with people in the afternoon, hunting for back-to-school sneakers for their kids? Martin was in the back stockroom; I assumed he was trying to fix the air conditioning. Suddenly, I hear Boston’s “More Than a Feeling” blaring from the overhead speaker. Wow, I thought, I didn’t think that speaker even worked. We used to listen to an old company issued radio we kept hidden in a clothing rack on the floor, so this was much better. When Martin emerged from the back, all smiles because we now had our sound system up and running, he said “First thing you do when you move in is hook up the stereo. Glad that’s out of the way!” We had no air conditioning, but we had music. This guy had his priorities in order, I thought, and I just laughed with him.  And when I went in the stockroom later, I discovered the radio perched on a high shelf with a sign near it: “Do not touch this radio or change the station!” Martin was a huge classic rock fan, and he had finally discovered WBAB and didn’t want anyone moving the difficult to tune analog dial and lose the signal. Eventually the air conditioning came back on that day, but I’ll never forget Martin rigging up that little radio during the mini heatwave we had in the store.  As busy back-to-school season came and went and things slowed down, Vin and I had the opportunity to get to know Martin better, and we’d have endless conversations about music and all the concerts Martin had been to while living in Philadelphia, most notably Pink Floyd and U2. Martin had seen both bands on their respective tours the previous year, and while I had limited knowledge of Pink Floyd’s catalog outside of 1980’s The Wall, I was very familiar with U2.

It can’t be overstated just how popular, influential and amazing U2’s album The Joshua Tree was back in 1987-1988. Released in March of 1987, it made U2 international superstars and firmly rooted them as one of the greatest bands in the world. Coming off the more experimental sounding The Unforgettable Fire in 1985, the band adopted a more straightforward approach to their songwriting for The Joshua Tree, and they also explored their fascination with America at the time. The result is one of the greatest albums ever; The Joshua Tree has sold over 25 million copies worldwide since its release in 1987, won the Grammy for album of the year, and produced two #1 singles: “With or Without You” and “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” When I was a senior in high school, everyone owned The Joshua Tree. It’s perfect from beginning to end and if you haven’t listened to it in awhile or, God forbid, never heard it at all, cue it up on Apple Music or Spotify. Back in the fall of 1988, U2 was planning a new release as a follow up to The Joshua Tree; it would be a soundtrack to a concert film they had produced while on tour in the U.S. Being a huge U2 fan, I was really looking forward to hearing some new music from them, and Martin, Vin and I talked about how to we could rig up a cassette player in the store so we could listen to the new album. Finally, in late September, the first single “Desire”, from the new album Rattle and Hum, was released on MTV and to radio stations. To say I heard it all the time would really be an understatement. The video was on all the time, and I must have heard it in the car and in the store a dozen times a day. But that was fine, because the song is just great. It’s raucous, with these great lyrics about how preachers steal people’s money, and what I later learned is the “Bo Diddley beat” carrying the song. When the full album was released in October, we did in fact rig up a boombox and played the cassette until it wore out. It sort of became the store soundtrack for a few months. So, as fall stretched into winter, I worked harder than I ever had, both in school and my “part-time” job. Martin gave me as many hours as I wanted, and taught me about the retail business, how to sell better and work with people, and most important, about work ethic. I learned that when you treat people the right way, they will want to continue to work with you, something I’ve carried with me my whole professional career. As I continued to work there for the next three years, I actually had some repeat customers who liked working with me because I had earned their trust; it was a huge confidence builder, and Martin contributed to that by having confidence in me.  He would also offer these great bits of advice: “Your close friends will always be straight with you, that’s how you know who your real friends are”; “Once you let people take advantage of you, they’ll never stop”; “There are too many girls out there to let just one get in your head”; it was all priceless to me at the time. Martin taught me a lot that first year we worked together, and of course, we talked about music all the time. Eventually someone changed the station on that crappy radio, and boy was Martin pissed! And of course, we moved on from “Desire” and Rattle and Hum, but it was an album I returned to a lot, at least until U2 released their next album. But even when I hear “Desire” now, over 30 years later, it still takes me back to my freshman year in college, when I learned more than I thought possible by working a part-time job selling sneakers and commuting to school. Did I miss out by not going away to college? Maybe a little. But did I eventually find the silver lining? Yes, but it took several years before I stopped regretting that decision. Looking back, it was actually a great time, and it got me right here. 😊

And here is U2 hamming it up on the streets of Hollywood in the video for “Desire.”

It’s great to be back after a 5-week hiatus. Someday I’ll tell you all about it…right now I’m just glad you stopped by again. Don’t forget to sign up for email updates and tell your friends if you’re enjoying the playlist.  

Next time…a rock and folk band from Iceland distracts me while I ride the NYC subway.

P.S.

 When I started putting together the 50 at 50 playlist, I knew there would be a U2 song. In fact, I moved four on and off the list before I decided on “Desire.” You may be asking why I would choose a song from a subpar album that was released between two of the best albums ever, The Joshua Tree and 1991’s Achtung Baby. The truth is I don’t have a great answer, other than the tremendous connection I still have to “Desire” thirty years after I first heard it. When I listened to Rattle and Hum preparing for this post, I actually found it tough to listen to. While it does have some U2 classics, including “Angel of Harlem”, “When Love Comes to Town”, and “All I Want is You”, it’s disjointed and it’s hard to find a common thread as you listen. I also bought the film on VHS when it came out in 1988, but I think I only watched it once and never returned to it. I recently read some reviews from back then of the album and a lot of critics did not like it. I think U2 wanted to continue their exploration of “roots” and American music and they came off extremely misunderstood by their effort. By the time Achtung Baby came out in 1991, they had adjusted their sound to include more alternative, dance and electronic influences, and the album received huge critical and commercial success; I think it’s their best album. Similar to when I wrote about Elton John, I don’t need to recap U2’s career. You know who U2 are, and I don’t need to tell you they remain one of the best bands on the planet and would sell out every arena in the US right now if they decided to tour. They are one of the few bands of my generation that have challenged their audience by evolving their sound and have remained relevant for over four decades. One thing I do regret: I have never seen them live. There is actually a great story behind the last time I had tickets to see them; maybe I’ll share it down the road. I wasn’t going to make a U2 playlist because there are so many on Spotify and Apple Music, but I decided to pick my top 20 tracks, including the other three candidates for the 50 at 50: “Bad”, “One” and “Even Better Than the Real Thing.” You can find the playlist on Spotify.

I ended up switching my major to Accounting after my freshman year, and I continued to work at the store until the fall of 1991, when I landed an accounting internship during my senior year. And if you read a few tracks ago, you know the decision to switch majors ultimately helped land me in my recruiting career, which is where I should be…at least for now. I’ve learned that you usually end up where you need to, so I just work hard, enjoy what I’m doing and treat people right and it generally works out somehow. It’s all the things I learned while selling sneakers. 😊 And the regrets? Well, I mostly had them when I got myself out into the real world and heard everyone’s college stories, and I started to ask myself if I made the right decisions. I quickly realized though that regretting the past was not constructive, and I couldn’t change it all anyway. More important, I wouldn’t be where I am at this moment, and that I would not change.

And what about Martin? In November 1989, he and his wife had a baby girl and Vin and I were one of the first ones at the hospital when she was born. Then in the spring of 1990, he moved his family south to pursue another opportunity and another manager took over. I ended up working for two other managers before I left in 1991; the store hummed along, but nothing would compare to the time I worked with Martin. We stayed in touch for a while, but we haven’t spoken in years. I recently reached out to him again to see if he wanted to weigh in on the time we worked together, but I haven’t heard back yet…I will keep you posted. 😊

See you next time…

 JS

 6/12/2022